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Well I heard that you're leavin'

Gonna leave me far behind

'cause you found a brand new lover

You decided that I'm not your kind



So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex

And I tore all your pictures in two

And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go

Just because it reminds me of you



That's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'

I'm glad that you found somebody new

'cause I'd rather spend eternity

Eating shards of broken glass

Than spend one more minute with you



I guess I might seem kind of bitter

You've got me feeling down in the dumps

'cause I'm stranded all alone at the gas station of love

And I have to use the self service pumps!



Oh so, honey, let me help you with that suitcase

You ain't gonna break my heart in two

'cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face

Then spend one more minute with you



I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork

Then watch you going out with other men

I'd rather slam my fingers in a door

Again and again and again and again and again

(Oh can't ya see what I'm trying to tell ya darling!)



I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches

Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms

in Grand Central Station... with my tongue

Then spend one more minute with you.



Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks

Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue

I'd rather dive into a swimming pool

filled with double edged razor blades

Then spend one more minute with you



I'd rather rip my heart right outta my ribcage

With my bare hands and then throw it on the floor

And stomp on it 'till I die!!!!

(GASP!)

Then spend... one more minute... with you
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